Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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