kristin has been a bad kristin
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
