gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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