I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
