No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
