took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the day after is always just damage control
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize