New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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