You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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