News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
