Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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