I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
