i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
