if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
