There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
