Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Randomize
