i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
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