You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
