Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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