She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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