I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can you bring me the toilet please
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
