Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The best revenge is premature balding
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
