gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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