just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
