i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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