I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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