I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
