it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize