You work out of a Hotel?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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