I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
