how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I FOUND THE LEGS
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
