you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
