Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
