Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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