I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
