my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
