Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I look better un-naked...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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