Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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