its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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