I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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