There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
