When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
