You're so nebulous sometimes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize