And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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