he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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