This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
