All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
