i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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