FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
