He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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