He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
