My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
