we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
