I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
