woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Let's paint friendship bongs
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
