I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
