you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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