Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
