I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
