He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
two words: eviction party
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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